27岁+ 的我

很久没在blog里留下我的足迹了。有1年了吧？

在2009年的最后一晚，很想上来写点什么，却吐不出一点儿东西所以就作罢lor. 最近比较闲，把去年买的书都看完了(yippee, 很有满足感ler).

很多很多美好的事都发生在2009年。比如说，我当妈妈了！:) 是的，我的宝贝-Freya，算算指头也已经8+mths 了哦。最开心的莫过于她是个超健康宝宝哟！没有一般baby三不五时来个大病小痛的，而且她爱笑不怕生让人看了就喜欢。她老爸就是她的头号‘粉丝’，被电的晕头转向，却又很骄傲的neh!

我是个善忘的人，不开心的人事物，我不会记得太久。况且，记太久那很伤身心叻！所以，我的27年+人生，我是挺满意的哦。 因为把记忆都锁定在开心的宝盒，伤心难过的通通都在下一秒被唾弃在trash bin。我发觉这是我这辈子对自己最好的一种方式。心境和态度是很关键的，这是我从我老公身上学的。从我开始发觉当我无理取闹或蛮不讲理，他还能咧嘴笑笑不当一回事的逗我开心，他的心境是-我老婆就是爱耍脾气，所以他选择的态度是- 从容面对。很好吧？自从有这样的认知后，我也变得不爱发脾气，没意思了嘛。（ 本来发脾气就是想找架吵的啊，他却来个笑笑给我带过，哪里还有pick up吵下去？）

还有哦，我最近不知发了什么疯，竟然发下‘宏愿’想要在30岁前当个硕士！我疯了！而且挺严重的！不过，这也算是‘大project’，我最懒了，从27 到30还有个3-4年，那就省下想每年要干嘛的烦恼，至少往后的3-4年我都不用想些有的没的来达成。也算好事一桩，算疯的有理吧！hahaha...

haiz, 不啰嗦，还得赶那该死的assignment!

人性

‘人之初，性本善’
是真的吗？
不，不是每个人都适用。

最近对人好像失去了信心，
或许我看到了太多人性丑陋的一面吧，
或许我太天真，总是认为一个人不可能坏到骨子里。
事实是，
人，的确能到贱的地步。
为了个人利益，
可以不顾一切。

人，也能很自私。
有种人，
总是认为别人对他的付出，
是理所当然。
好像全世界都欠他似的，
一点也不会感恩。
真的很欠揍！！

我，永远相信- 人在做，天在看。不是不报，时辰未到！

与你共勉之。。。

人情冷暖

的确，
当你高高在上时，
是看不见‘冷屁股’的，
但是，
当你不再是一人之下时，
什么样的嘴脸你都能看见。

昔日奉承你，
巴结你的人，
都会消失地无影无踪。

可是，
别以为那是消极的想法。
相反的，
在你失落时，还在你身边的人，
是值得你永远珍惜的。

从金字塔顶端滑下，
并不可怕，
可怕的是自己还不愿接受事实，
还想和那些阿夷奉承的人继续的来往，
那才可怕！

人情冷暖并非坏事，
至少你看清谁是真正的朋友，
不是吗？

平等？

最近几天心情很不好。
因为总觉得自己受了委屈。

今天，
当我看到在烈日下辛勤工作打拚的印度工人时，
我顿时觉得自己很不该。

我的委屈只是觉得自己不被赏识，
并不是什么大不了的事情，
却让我闷了那么久，
现在想想也觉得不该。

你能想像我坐在有air-con的私人office里，
一个小时的薪水是多少吗？
那你又知道我个刚说的印度工人一天的薪水是多少吗？
是S$20.00 一天！

天啊，是我太骄纵吗？
还是我真的不知道人间苦疾，
要我离开air-con去吃个饭，我也会痛苦的要命，
何况要顶着大太阳工作一整天！
杀了我算了！

好像忽然开窍了，
觉得自己好幸福，
既不用干粗活也不需要出卖劳力赚钱，
身体也健康的很，
为何还要自寻烦恼？

或许，上天是不公平的，
因为比我好千千万万倍的大有人在，
可是，为什么只和有钱人比较呢？
是否该看看活在平穷线下的人如何争扎求存，
为的只是一餐的温饱。

在我们喊着人人平等的口号的同时，
我们是否有听到真正受到不平等对待的人的呐喊？
我们是人，难道他们就不是？

你知道吗，
杂菜饭，很闷hor.
可你知道一盒2菜1肉的杂菜饭，
是可以让工人开心一整天的吗？
当他们接过饭盒那一杀那的感激神情，
是我忘不了的。
再看他们保护那一盒我们觉得食之乏味，弃之可惜的饭盒时，
我有点鼻酸。

我凭什么浪费食物？
我凭什么为了找不着好吃的餐厅而发脾气？
我凭什么认为自己就该被宠着？
我凭什么？

我会好好检讨。
我会好好珍惜。
我会好好的。

I'm fine

我很好，真的。

谢谢你们，

你们的关心让我觉得自己原来也挺不赖。

就如我说，

我不会让自己陷入深渊，

不会让别人欺负的。

我是很会保护和爱自己的，

何况现在我还有一个很需要我来保护的小人儿。

现在的我只会比以前更强悍，更强硬！

Anyway, 很感激你们的鼓励和支持，

爱你们哟。。。

why me?

很好奇自己在别人眼中到底是个怎样的人。

我自问不是个逆来顺受的‘弱女子’，这种烂鸟个性的确让我很吃亏。

如果你见识过我据理力争的样子，就算我是对的，你也不会同情我。

或许刚出社会时曾经被欺负到只能偷偷躲在被子里自己偷哭的阴影，

让我对自己暗暗的发（毒）誓不会再让自己被欺负。

严重的阴影让我反弹地更高吧，现在的我的确只能用强悍来形容。

就算要掉泪，也不要让人知道。

或许，自我保护过了头，已经让人忘了我也是个女人，也需要呵护。

每个人有烦恼或问题，就会来找我。

可有好东西时，却没我的份。

我以为我把自己保护的很好，再也不会受欺负了，

可是现在我才发现原来我是很好欺负的。

你有试过明明受委屈的是你，却被要求看开点。

明明心里很难受，却又被要求不计较。

你有试过明明现在的你需要‘特别’关心，可却没人关心你。。。

太多太多了。。。

我有问自己，是不是自己太糟糕，所以才被‘遗弃’

我也问自己，为什么要委屈自己？为什么要违背和背弃自己？

虽然别人从不当你是宝，你也不用着把自己当草。

别人从不拿你当自己人看待，你也不用再一厢情愿把头栽。

如果注定不能当家人，那就别勉强。

爸妈，兄弟是一辈子的，再不好再不堪也不能弃也没选择。

可老婆或老公是可以再选的（虽然不容易），

何苦因为和老公家人不和而要老公做夹心人。

既然我能自立，也有能力养小孩，

何不干脆快刀斩乱麻，

脱离那让人烦恼又复杂所谓的家庭关系吧。

或许现在该好好的想想，

只有我和孩子的生活比较实际。

至少不用再去在意别人的不公平的对待。

开始或许会很难过和不舍，

但至少我可以爱自己和我的小孩多一些。

只要愿意付出，自然会有收获；

只要不太贪心，自然就会感觉幸福。

你的心，

主宰一切。

Happy New Year!

挥别了2008年，
用期许的心情迎来了2009年，
没有特别的希望要在2009年得到些什么，
只想所有我爱的人都平安快乐。

2009年，
我将会迎来我生命中一个很珍贵的人，
一个我会不惜一切要保护和珍爱的人，
虽然我还不知道是他或她，
但可以肯定的是，
我会付出所有去爱他/她。

祝愿我所爱的人，
新年快乐！！

沮喪

很想写下现在的心情，
但，
千言万语在心中，
却一句也写不出来。

我想，
我想当妈妈的路注定比别人难走，
一次又一次的打击，
的却让我很沮丧。

事业和爱情，
我游刃有余。
但我却操控不了自己的身体。
这次，
我可能有要让充满期待的人再次的失望。

我已经尽了力，
本不该让自己有遗憾，
就像医生说的，is fate.
可一想到会辜负所有人，
心里就很难过。

神啊，能不能救救我？

累了

最近好讨厌自己！

太多负面的情绪！！

可能是贺尔蒙飙升的太快吧，有点不知所措。

对工作累了，

对生活也累了，

对什么事都提不起劲了，可怕！

我还能有什么期待呢？

难道工作赚钱就是人生？

很累。。。

铜臭味

在钢骨森林混久了，

再香的名牌香水也掩盖不了那满身的铜臭味。

本以为辛苦打拼回来的position和income会让我有成就感，

很遗憾，并没有！

有人用时间来换金钱，

我不知道别人是如何看待，

可我不再想过那样的生活！

“时间就是金钱，有人利用时间赚取金钱，但金钱却不一定能买到时间”- 这证明时间比金钱重要。

和我妹的谈话点醒了我，

人生除了钱之外， 还有很多，如：家庭。

她满足于薪水不高，工作轻松，节奏不快的工作。

我嘴里说她没目标，没上进心，可心里却羡慕她的乐天知足。

她的确不像我这个so called 都市人，

为了追上节奏，

几乎失去自我！

算一算，自己赚进的钱的确不少，

但放进自己的口袋没多久，

就跑进了别人的口袋。（shopping, relax, massage, medi ＆pedicure, facial - Retailtherapy）

很庆幸，我还保留了一样珍贵的东西，

那就是对生活的期待。　

这是我永远都不会想失去的。

我会努力把‘铜臭味’抽离，

还自己一个清新的自己！！！

事情太多，时间太少

太久没写blog了，时间不够用。

忙到就连和baby抱抱的时间也没有。

最近心里头在酝酿着事业的蓝图，很多东西还在琢磨，原来自己的野心也不小。。。

心理上的累，远远超越身体上的累。身体疲惫，去个spa和massage或再来个medi & pedicure就什么累也赶跑。可是，心理的累却无时无刻的在吞啄着我。。。

真得很想看看自己的能力到哪里，是不是有那样的魄力和谋略为自己打下一片天。Baby是fully support， 什么都要趁年轻。

那好吧，我就下定要“做自己的主人”的‘宏愿’！

祝福我吧！

Life aft Fuel price rise

Em, my life as usual. Nothing had changed.

I shop as usual. buy as usual. eat as usual and of coz spurge as usual. :D

Fuel price did affect me, i walk more instead of driving. Basically, my life really as usual. i mean, no big deal if u see me walking right?

Baby and i have new hobby - survey the food prices. weird? NO. of coz not.

This morning he 'report' to me he found a hawker ctr sell him a bowl of RM4 老鼠粉. (of coz taste mean everything) Both of us think we will ban the stall who sell us RM5 for the same food. Then v both keeps talking wat inside the bowl.

See, thts how v keep our 10++years relation - always have new topic to discuss with. It is fun. Trust me.

I can tell how much the fuel price affected ppl around us.

Bosses/Entrepreneur:

- Those who have stable biz b4 price rise, now earn less;

- Those who have moderate biz b4, now struggling;

- Those who struggling b4, now Closed Down!


Employees/Workers:

- Those who have stable job, now scare of losing their job;

- Those who able to earn a living b4, now might losing their job;

- Those who jobless b4, now will still unable to get job.

Adjust yourself to new challenge, all the best...

Fuel Price

Wat had happen lately in M'sia really made me down. Fuel price, price increase on consumer goods, etc....

Everyone around me is talking abt it. It does affect me, but not as serious as people who live, work and play in m'sia. Strong S'pore currency still able to help me get out of this crisis at this moment. But i dunno whether it will last me in long run.

Been reading Dr. Mah, Lim Kit Siang and Fong Po Kuan's blog. Following up closely this few days. As far as i know, they are the one who trying to save M'sians out of the crisis.

I understood we unable to escape as it is a globalize econ down turn and recession. Govt have to do something to protect it own peoples instead of burden them by causing the high inflation! I wonder, if there is no people working (all walk on the street to protest) will there be any income tax contribution? Will there be any GDP tht our Govt always talk abt? How much M'sia will lost in juz 1 day?

I'm not an economist, but i dare to say it is definately much more than wat the Govt is subsidying!!

I'm a peace lover. But, i aldy told my Boss, if there is a protest in JB, i'll be in! I got his support.

I wants to contribute my tiny efforts. M'sia forever a home to me, no matter how far i go...

"AKU ANAK MALAYSIA"!!!

Pak Lah, there are a lots of people like me who work in oversea, but our heart will always tie with M'sia. Pls do not ignore us. Thts not your one man show and it is not your playground too!!

Baby's Mistress

You will find me crazy if i feel jealous on it - baby's X20!

I dun mean to complain abt him, juz hate to see his sick face over it. U know, the day we get the car, he spent more than 8hrs to wash, wipe and check every single parts on it body! He will never do this to me! (I mean, bath, scrub and massage me). Walau, need so good service meh! I cant imagine when the time he want to polish and wax it. *faint*

He keeps complaining to me says: wah their service really rough one, will use cheap cheap sponge, cheap liquid, cheap wax, cheap..... (cheap = poor quality). So, he run to The Store, grasp all he think is good quality sponge lah, liquid lah, wax lah and FEW cloths specially for car body one and 'warn' me say which is for window, body and the rims one... *fainted on the floor*

........

Now, i not only become his maid, i oso his mistress' maid too. coz i have to written down all the specific brand liquid and type of cloths to use if i got his 'mistress' dirty. ai... wat a poor life...

Oh ya, i have to plan my journey b4 start the car. Baby say try to avoid unnecessarily mileage wasted and blah blah blah abt the fuel price increase wor.

ok lah, he is the Master, i'm Maid. He call the shot...

I'm working out a worksheet, so next time can submit 2 days b4 if want to use his mistress... :)

Hahaha, i juz joking.... dun bother! if he dare to make me angry now, i got a way to ask it back. hahah - juz need to put my pretty hand on the window and leave some of my finger print on it will do... ahahhaha. Baby will damn mad!!!! Wahahaha.... evil.

P/s:
So baby, try not to make me angry k.... muack!
Really happy to see you cherish wat you have.
But, my hope is pls dun spurge on those 'wo eh bo eh'... then i'll be very appreciate. thk god.

第一天

今天，我第一次那么早起来 -上班。6.00am。

很怕Traffic Jam。But so far, i find it alright. Juz a lil jam at S'pore Custom. Other than tht was alright. 真的。Especially for a person who live in a superb transport system country for the past 7yrs.

My 1st day in JB was great and fantastic. But is still early to judge at this moment.

My neighbors are friendly. Our delivery man hit one of my neighbor's Passion Fruit Tree, but she more concern of anything happen to human instead of her tree. Wat a nice woman... I like her. I bought her a box of tasty donuts to show my deeply apology...

Ken - my bro, drive us here and there to familiarize the place.

Baby and i bought a RM3k Dunlopillo mattress... wow, the most expensive mattress we ever had. Damn comfy till dun wanna get our butt out of it. Find it worth as the mattress RP shd be around RM6750. Promotion now coz juz launch... heheh... Ask for FOC leather Divan + 2 pillow + 1 bolster frm Dunlopillo too. FYI, 1 pillow cost RM200... Yippe, get great deal! Wahahaha....

Overall, Baby and i find it is a new but good start....

Hope everything able to stay smooth...

Oh ya, you guys are welcome to stay with us if u come to JB...

I have 1 extra room... But make sure u call b4 come in order not disappoint u as too many frenz wanna book me, no, I mean the extra room. ha!

Terrible week!

All things juz sucked!

Unable to move out as planned coz unable to declare on time at M'sia Customs. (Ya, juz wonder since when they have such good system, bite me!)

S'pore landlord find trouble aft 2 yrs of rental. (perhaps, feel pain on lossing such a great tenant- hey, FYI i pay rent b4 end mth, where to get such good tenant as i do, never owe him a single penny, wow really proud).

Quarel with someone over issues....too many to list. so, cut the crap...

God knows how depress i'm. But i'd solved it all, by myself. Think i feel proud? No, never. In fact, down.

Aft everything back to track, i wonder y juz me with me. Don't get it? i mean, ALONE.

There are no one able to help me, maybe they tried, but ended i solve it my own. Do u know how desperate i wish i could c Superman jump frm the sky and say yes to all my problems? If u know me, u would know how desperate i am now - Damn desperate!

As u know, there are no Superman exist! Ha, broke your dream? YA, if u dream on that, i'll juz say - FAT HOPE! No Superman, no angel! Juz will be u alone.

Troubles and problems doesn't go off itself, but will appear will no sign. How i wish i could have someone stronger, tougher or maybe juz better than me a lil appear and say 'I DO' to my probs.

Anyway, juz feel a lil depressed and need a break aft everything settle.

Is Maldives a good choice???

Or Hokkaido better?

Haiz, life full of choices, and this time, i created the troubles - myself...

从容面对

Been busy lately.

Too many things happened in one go unable to describe my feeling.

Too many uncertainty....

I'm going to move to a place tht are totally strange to me - JB.

I'm gonna leave the place i stayed for the past 7yrs - S'pore.

I'm have to face those unnecessary 'family disruption' out of sudden.

any many many more ahead.....

I guess life full of challenges and this will be the start.

Have to prepare and be ready to face all this.

Dun even think to 'lean' on anyone or seeking for helps without trying, but of coz, friendship and family is important.

I'm not that kind of weakish and pamper gal. Never in the past and definately never in the future.

Juz wonder how can those people survive in a lonely planet? w/o family or friends... Yo, i'm the 1st one who unable to survive. Blame it to my 'party animal' charateristic. :) (dun laugh, mankind needs society to survive, society form by mankind-is an unchanged rule)

Do u know how much i save when i open my mouth to ask ard for better offer in house mover service? How many useful info i get when i open my mouth to ask for somethings new in my world? How many concern i receive when i open my mouth to share my grieve or grievance? Let me tell u, tht are countless!

I cherish family relationship and friendship, and of coz, my Love one.

When ppl face depressions or problems, they tents to feel bad or unhappy. But i chose a way to overcome it - accept it, face it, solve it.

I'm getting tougher, stronger and happier now. Problems, unhappiness and depressions is anywhere, if u able to prepare yourself and be confident to yourself, i believe u definately able to overcome anythings in your life.

P/s: To my dearest frenz - Cat, this post is specially for u. Hope u able to overcome all problems, so u wont feel so sad, u will have our supports k... May Cupid with u... :p

With Loves,
Michelle

女人心

‘朋友’昨天睡不着，在看"Ghost Whisper 2nd Season".

身旁的男人睡得很香甜。

大概02.33am时，男人突然睡眼惺忪的问：“还不要睡啊你”？？

“朋友”很惊讶，因为她和男人之间从来不会用'华语'交谈。十几年来都是用‘粤语’。

‘朋友’听后很讶异，整晚都辗转难眠。心里头突然涌现无数的问号很不好受。

男人时常说‘朋友’是敏感的女人。试问天下有哪个‘人’对自己身边的人反常的举动会视而不见啊？何况是自己爱的人，见鬼啦！

‘朋友’很难释怀，不过不打算追根究底。

只是心里有一些独白想要找寻出口，‘朋友’想对男人说：

‘十多年的爱情和感情（或许对你来说那已经是种习惯和需要）是我这辈子的人生里有着不能割舍的意义。
当我睡不着，只要看着你熟睡的脸庞就会很满足；
当我受尽委屈，只要扑进你温暖的双臂里我可以忘掉一切；
当我快乐时，第一个念头就是和你分享；
我的成就是你的功劳， 因为你是我强力的后盾；
没有你的呵护和支持，我不会是今天的我；
当然，你给的爱才是最大的原动力，
没有你的爱，我什么也不是。
我可以接受有一天你不再爱我的可能，
不过，
我不能接受被欺骗或瞒骗！
无论是善意的谎言还是迫不得已，
都不能！
我是个打从骨子里倔强的女人，
无论我多么的爱或爱着你，
我都不会原谅你。
所以，‘坦白从宽，抗拒从严’，
从实招来才是上策。
最后，
请你看在十多年的情份上，
永远别让我最后一个知道，ok?"

看着你熟睡的脸庞，心里很欣慰因为你还睡在我身旁，
忍不住掐了你一把，
对不起哦，因为我要确定我是不是在做梦。:)

还有，
下次作春梦可别被我捉包，
我可是会掐死你的。。。哈哈。。。
爱你哦！

Passed

Wahahahaha..... Me and Baby PASSED our BTT (finally! *phew*)!!!

So, we ONLY failed 3 times k....

Will proceed for our conversion soon.

S$50 for a whole life license (except u not awarded 12 demerit points of coz). Damn Worth it!!!!!